I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
