I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
