what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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