You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
