I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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