I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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