in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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