I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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