at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When did angry sex become our thing?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
