While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
