Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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