so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
