Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
