His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
