u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
