I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
