she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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