This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
