He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's never too late to be topless.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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