I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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