Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
