We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
