For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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