I will die if light touches me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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