Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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