You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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