I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
