i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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