My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This is not my ceiling
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I had to cum in my sink.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
