wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I could make wine with my vomit
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize