why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Randomize
