I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
