We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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