did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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