I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We're facebook friends in real life
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
