final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
