he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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