i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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