wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
