Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
