I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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