Me too!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
