can we get nightvision for the apartment?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
