God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize