What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
