Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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