you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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