Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
