I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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