You smell like a Billy Joel song
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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