I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
