He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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