he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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