thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
