Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
