I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
