He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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