i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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