And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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