So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
