Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
